05 November 2013

Wheels Are Turning

Not sure why but this is on loop this morning:

Not really ready for today or tomorrow, but it's here regardless, so onward and upward right?  I was thinking a lot about death yesterday. Thinking that I don't know what the hell I think. Thinking about people and how they change over the years. Wondering how they got from one way of thinking to another. Wondering why, when people "find Jesus" they suddenly are shrouded in a cloak of "I'm now better and know much more than you" finery. Whatever. 

It's your loss if you shut people out of your life because they don't hold the same thoughts or beliefs as you. 

Imagine how different things would be had either of my parents ever asked me WHY I feel like I do. WHY I believe or don't believe in the things I do or don't believe in. I've watched them over the years, taking in complete strangers, like little projects to be crafted and molded and shaped into another soldier for "the Lord".....meanwhile, they never took the time to truly believe in me because I just would not bend to their will and their plans for my life. 

All journeys, ultimately, end at the same place though. So maybe I'll see them somewhere down the road when this time is over. I don't know. I just know that I refuse to live in fear and feel downtrodden and disheartened because I was born a ""sinner"". It doesn't take the blood of Christ or anyone else to make me whole or a good person. What it does take is the thoughts, the choices and the actions that help me learn and help me be the kind of person I want to be. They have really missed out over the years. Shoving me aside, back into the black sheep closet until the next Christmas rolls around.  

But whatever. That wheel in the sky. It keeps turning. 

No comments: