24 November 2013

Off the Floor

It's been a while. I know. Life and stuff. A lot has happened since we last spoke. Visiting hospitals then visiting musicians, obtaining unwanted health issues and yet getting to meet and mingle hair with more favorite musicians (more later....), creating things, getting pissed at things, writing things. Just a lot going on.  

It would seem that this song, however, has chosen itself to be my wake up call, and not just because of seeing them live...or listening to the album whenever I'm in the car....I think there's a message in there somewhere, probably right around the chorus....which is so very catchy, it's the first thing I hear when I wake up lately! 

You'll have to click to find out what this very important wake up call says!  Go on. Click it. Do it. You won't be sorry......

05 November 2013

Wheels Are Turning

Not sure why but this is on loop this morning:

Not really ready for today or tomorrow, but it's here regardless, so onward and upward right?  I was thinking a lot about death yesterday. Thinking that I don't know what the hell I think. Thinking about people and how they change over the years. Wondering how they got from one way of thinking to another. Wondering why, when people "find Jesus" they suddenly are shrouded in a cloak of "I'm now better and know much more than you" finery. Whatever. 

It's your loss if you shut people out of your life because they don't hold the same thoughts or beliefs as you. 

Imagine how different things would be had either of my parents ever asked me WHY I feel like I do. WHY I believe or don't believe in the things I do or don't believe in. I've watched them over the years, taking in complete strangers, like little projects to be crafted and molded and shaped into another soldier for "the Lord".....meanwhile, they never took the time to truly believe in me because I just would not bend to their will and their plans for my life. 

All journeys, ultimately, end at the same place though. So maybe I'll see them somewhere down the road when this time is over. I don't know. I just know that I refuse to live in fear and feel downtrodden and disheartened because I was born a ""sinner"". It doesn't take the blood of Christ or anyone else to make me whole or a good person. What it does take is the thoughts, the choices and the actions that help me learn and help me be the kind of person I want to be. They have really missed out over the years. Shoving me aside, back into the black sheep closet until the next Christmas rolls around.  

But whatever. That wheel in the sky. It keeps turning. 

03 November 2013


Yesterday I learned of the passing of a friend from years past. He had a busy life during his short time here on earth. I am certain he will be very sorely missed by those close to him. We were never best of friends, but drifted in and out of each other's lives regularly. There was never a dull moment with him. 

I can't tell you when we first met. He was just one of those people that just seemed to have always been there. I'm sure it was probably something church related, since we didn't go to the same school. He was a beast. He was a big man, even back then...probably well over 6'5. 

In the later years, after high school, his drumming took him down the path of music. He played with at least one bar band that I know of..."Tyrant" and always reminded me of Animal when he played. Same expression. During those years, when I so wanted to get into fashion, I will never forget making clothes for him. I made him a wicked vest, rocked out with all manner of brass and gold tack things. Cheesy as all hell, but it was befitting of the time. Those were just good times. 

After we drifted apart for the last time, he got into amateur wrestling. I think he was fairly good at it. I don't know anything about that part of his life though. Just amusing that he went from music to pro-ish wrestling. 

After that, apparently, he did a total turnaround and went off in an entirely new and unrelated direction. Religion. I was shocked, just a few years back, when I learned he was now a pastor of a church in the town where we grew up. Him? Religious? Whodda thunk? 

Though I don't agree with many of the things he came to believe in, I completely respect that he did what he felt he needed to do and he clearly had an impact on many people. 

With that in mind, I'll refrain from posting any of the covers he used to play or music we used to listen to back then, as it's not anything I think he would have been listening to in the more recent years. I just hope that wherever he has gone, he's in peace and he truly has found that for which he was looking. 

Rest in Peace, friend. 

02 November 2013

Shopping Carts and Holes in Hearts

I heard this yesterday, while shopping: 

Guess who sang out loud while shopping? Guess who didn't care? It took me right back....back to the days when everything was just a little bit simpler, much less complicated. 

A little over 20 years ago, my eyes met the eyes of this beautiful man-child as we passed in the hallway during a concert. We kept going our separate ways. About one month later, we happened upon each other yet again....at another concert. Back in the day when you could afford to go to a concert without taking out a fourth mortgage on your first born child. What made it click, for me, was that we both instantaneously remembered the other. He had the most beautiful eyes. Still does....just now shaded by his spectacles, but it is my one true joy in life to get to look deep into those eyes every night before we go to sleep. 

Today is our anniversary. 17 years of that "wedded bliss" stuff. We have beat the odds, set forth by people like my parents; people who thought we should never have been together and that we wouldn't last. To them, I give a firm and hearty: 

We've seen the ups, the downs, the rights, the wrongs and everything else and still we stick together. There's a closeness we have that is found with very few others. One thinks something and that thought comes directly out the other person's mouth. We have the same sick, twisted sense of humor. We both fear people, in most social settings. We just gel.

I truly never did know love until him. There will never be any other. I can't predict the future, but I know that I am 10,000% committed, attached, in love with and loving this man for the rest of my time on this giant orb called earth. Like a goose, I mate for life. He's stuck with me. Period. 

We've never had a lot....but my love...he does it good: 

He truly is the only one who holds the other key to me.  

Happy Anniversary, my love. <3 

01 November 2013

Loco Oficial

News of THIS: 

Make me THIS:  

Yeah, yeah, I know, I should be too old to worry about such nonsense, right?  NO!  Not right!  THIS is exactly what keeps me from aging and becoming Stepfordized to the point of glazed-staring, dull wittedness. 

It makes me scream, it makes me bounce, it makes me feel ALIVE.  THAT is what matters in life. Living like nothing else matters. Living by what YOU feel is right, not by the standards of others. 

This makes me want to dye my hair some shade of black and purple or blue, get some wickedly detailed tatts in equally wicked locations, wear nothing but black and just be. I really don't know what stops me. Maybe I shouldn't be stopped. I wonder what my husband would think.  

Back to the music. This is what gets my aggression, anger, and blinding hot rage out. This is the fuel that lights my fire. There's not much like it today. I'm just a happy, happy girl-woman today, knowing that they will be around just that much longer. 

That. Growl. Amen.