15 October 2013

I Don't Feel A-Okay

Funny how things apply after the fact. 


I'm not celebrating nothing
And I certainly do NOT feel A-Okay. 

Today was a confirmation of bad news. Today sucks. 

Feeling completely and totally powerless sucks. 

Not knowing what to even do. Sucks. 

I want that medicine that makes me feel like a tall tree.  Not sure what that medicine is for you, but for me, it'd be a nice bag of morphine and an equally nice, comfy IV. 

Now when you break yourself down,
And go to this place.
You give yourself the reason,
To get off your case.
And when you break it down yeah,
And see through this shit.
You give yourself the reason,
To live through this.

I know, in time, I will break it all down and make some semblance of sense out of everything, but today is not that day. I don't pray. Praying does nothing. Praying is wasted oxygen. Praying is not being awake. I'm not saying that it should be that way for anyone other than me, I'm saying that it's how I feel and that would be that. 

Where's the bloody miracle now? What's miraculous is how people can think things are such a blessing, when in reality, it was just getting started. Just getting wound up. Just getting ready for round 2. 

Maybe I'll get myself a nice, cold, something other than beer, sit myself down and drink myself away for a bit. 

Where's that medicine? 


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