04 September 2013

Hail Mary

All I know is that I do not have one single clue as to why, but this was exactly what I heard upon waking today.

I do recall in years gone by how all I could think, whenever I heard The Offspring, was that this guy looked an awful lot like this guy...

(Jake Busey, in case you didn't know...)

It's not a happy song. It's about losing a loved one. Maybe it's just a random relapse in to the past, my brain rummaging around through the memory drawers and finding some wrinkly scrap of song stuck in the back..

I love Fall.  Or "AUTUMN" as the THEYS on the morning news want us to call it so it won't bring on a bout of S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder or I Need Another Excuse for My Shitty Mood Disorder-which would be too long to make into an acronym).....which in these parts, we just call WINTER. Obviously, I digressed. 

Still, I love FALL.  Right up to the point where everything dies, winds start blowing and everything turns the dead colors of grayish brown and around here gold to dead gold from the decaying stubble left in the corn fields. Yuck.  

Maybe it's because I am a yarn freak and I can knit more of these...

or these

Or maybe it's because most of my best childhood memories happened in the fall, a chance of a new beginning at school (which never ended well), Halloween, and just the way the air feels. It's just different. Like the difference between breathing Ohio air and Arizona air, worlds apart.  

Over the years, some fairly shitty things have happened during this, my beloved time of the year...things that have taken me a while to get over, things which I have worked hard to stop associating with Fall, so that I can go on loving this time of year. The feelings of loss or near loss are always there, but they are stored away and kept just as reminders to appreciate what I have and to never forget that existence, as we know it, is very fleeting.  

Heaven doesn't have to be so very far away. You can make it heavenly or you can make it hellish, this life. The choice is, invariably, up to you.  For now, I choose heaven, with my beloved, surrounded by our beloved fuzzy children of assorted species and baskets full of yarn, also invariably....football.

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