14 September 2013

Boom Boom Fear

The Universe is strange. I was thinking about fear yesterday....and how it was trying to sneak into my brain and coil around my current burst of "I CAN DO THIS". Fear of the unknown. Fear of failing. Fear of losing everything. All of it designed just to keep me still and silent and NOT moving forward.....and naturally this popped in my head...

There's always something unseen, waiting to take it all away, in my brain. that's what fear does. It gnaws at you, and slowing, but surely erodes your sense of accomplishment, sense of safety. I guess instead of letting it stifle me, I need to let it MOTIVATE me.

I think, however, that the real wake up call for me was the fact that at the same time I was here, hearing that song in my head, my beloved was at work, driving around the city in the big truck and listening to it...and SINGING it for all, in traffic, to enjoy. It's why I love him...his love of music. Well, PART of why I love him, but to see the amount of joy it brings him makes me happy.  

Meanwhile, back at the farm.....my husband loves me. Even when fear tells me I should be scared of losing him...he loves me regardless.  He brought me a work-at-home care package last night.....full of sweet things like: 

and this....

and this.....

All that, so I can smell wonderful aromas of milk, honey, berry cobbler and coffee while listening to music that makes me want to MOVE forward instead of sitting still, being afraid. I mean, just listen to this and how can you NOT want to move?

Video stupid? Yes, but still.....you wanna see stupid, watch me try to dance when I play this:

I totally digress.  Back to my beloved:  He is a saint among men. A true blessing to me, and I know that I probably can't ever show it enough. I just hope he knows it.  Think I'm done babbling for today. What is a blessing to you? Show me your alive....say something. :)  

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