21 February 2012

The Business of Crazy

Allow me to be blunt. Last night just not even kind of, but REALLY did suck ass. Not sure why, but somehow it never ceases to amaze me how very mean, ignorant, blind, and vapid some people can be. When will I learn, it just doesn't matter any more. When will I get it that the opinions of ignorant people who have never cared enough to bother to ask the SOURCE for the truth before they go running off at the pie hole just DO not matter. Those "opinions" and baseless accusations, gossip and flying detritus are not truth. And, none of it defines me.

So, upon the first ring of the alarm this morning, I heard this:

Something I'll definitely be doing within the next 24-48 hours, or however long it takes me to come back down to a simmer and speak rationally, without saying what I would REALLY like to say.  

And, an oddity for me...I hit the snooze, then, ironically, I heard this for the second time this week...

This blows me way the fuck away.  And yes, I'm using the F word liberally because it's just that kind of day.

There, at this point, really is nothing left to do but go crazy...on all these people who have nothing but the illest of intentions towards me and my beloved.  It's a soap opera that I dare not get into.......it would take way to many 1s and 0s to explain it all in perfectly accurate detail!  

For many years now, I've been a much mellower being than I was in the younger years. A mellow, laid back, drama-hating creature that just keeps to herself and doesn't need chemical assistance to BE mellow. I just am. So, why do certain people feel the need to just pick, pick, pick away at my shell, and my core to see if they can get me to crack.  Do they really want to see who will come out to play if they pick long enough?  Really?  I don't think so.  

Today is about being mad. Today is more about being absolutely livid. But see, it's also about contemplation and about knowing that the livid me will NOT accurately and concisely relay her message as the calm, mellow me will. So, for now, I wait, bide my time, bite my tongue in half and know that when the time is right, I will indeed have words to speak that will be heard, understood and taken seriously. 

Again, I was not born with enough of these.....

and at the current moment, I wish I had a pair of stilettos so I could do this...

But this, this is the ultimate truth of the matter......

Fear Factory

Nothing you say matters to us! 
Fuck You!
Spit your worthless point of view, a cog in the machine
Your damn words are straight up lies, continue to decieve
Nothing you say matters to us! 
You are a virus spreading disease!
Your life is so sad, spreading lies of me!

Sow your seeds of ignorance, you ...parasite
Seems you say most anything to stab me with your lies
You are a virus spreading disease!
Your life is so sad, spreading lies of me!
Reap what you sow, your words are shit!
You are a virus spreading disease
Your life is so sad, spreading lies of me!

Assume that you know my thoughts
Change your face in front of me
(NOT GIVING ONE SHIT) that you wouldn't ... know the truth if it smacked you upside the head several times.  

(Edited to apply directly to this situation, which I should be over by tomorrow...:D)  

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