25 February 2012

Loco Blind Bats and Paradise By the Vegemite Sandwich

What a screwy week. Work was about the only place I could go to forget about the BS. Work and in the arms of my beloved. I know, I have really, really, REALLY been slacking lately......real life got in the way of trying to listen to the Universal message du jour.

Today, I got a message from my beloved. It was, without a doubt, a very sweet, very real, very heartfelt message, and it came along with this....

We've been through alot during our life together, and yet, it's all been worth it. The pain, the joy. All of it.
Before all of that happened, though, the week has pretty much been a rousing round of this...

then, because it didn't sink in until this week, I heard Coldplay's new song 'Paradise' used in a commercial....and just knew I needed to hear it loud. I mean really loud, within the confines of my car, newly returned from the shop and looking splendid after they fixed all the assorted bumps, holes and dings caused by one very clumsy, misguided deer. So, I found the cd and popped it in yesterday. Sheer, unadulterated, very loud bliss. There are just certain Coldplay tunes that need to be loud for best results....like this....

Then, during a discussion of how Nutella does NOT look very appetizing, the word 'Vegemite' came up because I incorrectly somehow deduced that Nutella was just as Australian as Vegemite. After some brief research, directly from the source, I do realize that my assumption was incorrect and TOTALLY irrelevant....but then I could not remember what song used 'Vegemite' in its lyrics. Today, of course, I remembered. It was this...

I think the Universe is trying to distract me, so I am not expending so much important and better used minutes of my days on being full of hate and disgust. It's about balance. I am blessed to have friends who understand and do little things and big things to let me know that I am not alone and to remind me that they are true friends. The kind who aren't smiling in your face, whilst twisting the knives in your back. 

So, off I go to practice letting things go. 

Sorry for the intermittent sharing of assorted Wake Up Calls. Truly, I intend to get back on track tomorrow!  

23 February 2012

It Bears Repeating....

No musical alarm today, just the steady beep for about 2 seconds to shoot me into consciousness.....that's what getting up at 2:30 AM does for you!  This is the last time I'll spout off about this thing that has truly upset me. I shared a song last night, but it really does bear repeating...

This is one of those things that I won't forgive NOR forget....

Life is fairly simple and straightforward, once you cut through all the bullshit. The necessity of idle, baseless gossip is absolute NIL. What purpose does it serve? Who does it benefit? If you live a life where you take great pains to hurt people with your words, then you are enveloped in bullshit and thusly not able to see the trees for the forest. 

We are painfully simple people, my beloved and I. We don't bother anyone. We don't socialize much at all. We work, we come home to each other, we laugh, we talk, we dream. So, we find ourselfs fairly flummoxed that some people can't find anything more interesting, exciting or TRUE to talk about than their made up stories of our history. 

As you have and will probably hear me quote Dr. Maya Angelou: 

"You did then what you knew how to do, And when you knew better, You did better." 

As such, we do keep doing better, as we keep learning more. No one, nor the toxic sludge that flows forth from their mouth, can ever change that. 

21 February 2012

The Business of Crazy

Allow me to be blunt. Last night just not even kind of, but REALLY did suck ass. Not sure why, but somehow it never ceases to amaze me how very mean, ignorant, blind, and vapid some people can be. When will I learn, it just doesn't matter any more. When will I get it that the opinions of ignorant people who have never cared enough to bother to ask the SOURCE for the truth before they go running off at the pie hole just DO not matter. Those "opinions" and baseless accusations, gossip and flying detritus are not truth. And, none of it defines me.

So, upon the first ring of the alarm this morning, I heard this:

Something I'll definitely be doing within the next 24-48 hours, or however long it takes me to come back down to a simmer and speak rationally, without saying what I would REALLY like to say.  

And, an oddity for me...I hit the snooze, then, ironically, I heard this for the second time this week...

This blows me way the fuck away.  And yes, I'm using the F word liberally because it's just that kind of day.

There, at this point, really is nothing left to do but go crazy...on all these people who have nothing but the illest of intentions towards me and my beloved.  It's a soap opera that I dare not get into.......it would take way to many 1s and 0s to explain it all in perfectly accurate detail!  

20 February 2012

Money and Mountains

Just my brain to wake me up today. Too much to think about to be asleep. Listened to 'Under the Cherry Moon' yesterday on the way to work, so of course I've got more Prince looping around my lonely brain cell....songs like this:

and this...

But then I start thinking about other stuff and THIS comes to mind...

None of it directly applies, perhaps, but bits and pieces do. Thinking about motivation. About roadblocks. About priorities. Not mine, per se, but about someone else's. Thinking about how they can light a fire under their own ass and get things going. 

One foot in front of the other. One minute, one second, one inch, one millimeter at a time. Just have to start.  

That's all she wrote. 


19 February 2012

Call Me Crazy

Yes I AM a slacker. How could you tell? This week has been SO very screwed up, mentally, emotionally and workly. Yes, workly. I have got to regain my resolve to NOT get sucked into workplace drama. I started out great. I do, really, just show up. Sometimes, though, people and their respective rounds of bullshit suck me in. When I am at work, though, I just want to focus on what I've got to get done. I don't CARE about who gets who, who's doing what, who pissed off who, etc., etc. I just want to show up, be there, have as good a time as possible, do my thing, then clock out and come back home to the most beautiful person in the world. THAT is all I want. Is that really too much to ask?  

THIS is one of the coolest songs ever. I've loved Heart ever since I can remember, which is quite a ways back. I wanted to BE Ann Wilson's voice. I didn't know anything about her, but that VOICE. Now THAT is a powerful force. Well, it WAS, at least, until the 80's attacked her and her sister with tons of hairspray and shoulder pads. That era, we could probably do without. 

Yet, today, Ann is still a beauty. See: 

Very gently borrowed from here

I can only hope that I hold up that well as I continue moving forward through the years!  I know part of it is being able to let go of the small stuff. Those things that just do NOT matter one bit. Like workplace drama. So, today, on Day 3 of the Weekend from Hell, I will attempt to go to work and just get tonight out of the way and then move into the new week, back to a more humane schedule. 

What are YOU going to do with your new week?  

17 February 2012

Thar She Blows

Yeah, so this week is SO beyond messed up, schedule-wise, I can't even begin to process it yet and I'm smack in the middle of it. Sleep? What is this SLEEP you speak of?  We don't got no stinking sleep here. I guess a mood or 'tude adjustment is definitely in order. I don't WANT to feel this way about work. I like my job. I just don't LIKE how some things are done. Sure, I'm flexible, I can change, I learn fast, I work hard, etc., etc., blah, blah, but damn.....I feel like a yo-yo. Teach me to EVER again say that I have open availability. But, you do what you gotta do to get a job, right? Live and learn, then keep your head down, mouth shut, eyes and ears open and just. show. up.

That's just the way it is...

This song reminds of early spring.....early morning......right when the sun is coming up...that excellent feeling, comfortably warm yet cool enough that it's just not miserable outside....the smell of spring. Probably because it really, really hit my radar back around that time of the year a few years back. Have to go dig out that cd. One of my favorites. 

Tesla makes me feel young again. Takes me back to the days before I had a care in the world. The days when I did a lot of stupid things, yet, the days when I could see hope. Don't get me wrong, I can still see hope, with a lot of things, like love and the future of my children, but for myself and a real "career", probably not so much. Which is why, with this job, I just adopted the attitude of 'Whatever' and 'I just show up'. I don't want drama. I don't want gossip. I just want to show up, work hard, get paid and have fun with the few co-workers that I like to be around. They make me smile. They make me laugh. They get me away from a life of wasting away working at home, being alone 90% of every day. Going to an actual, real place of employment gives me a sense that I am actually needed out there in the world. Working at home, not so much. 

In other, totally unrelated news....I had a listen to Nikka Costa's Pebble to a Pearl yesterday. Gotta be honest. Totally, completely disappointed. Sad to say that the Nikka I hear when she posts live clips of Facebook (or FacePlace, as they call it on Young & The Restless) is NOT what I hear when she cuts an album. Nothing has topped the first one...

Which I wholeheartedly recommend...just seems that since then, something gets seriously lost in the translation. Kind of like when The Black Crowes try to venture away from their original excellence into the venue of God-only-knows-what-they-were-thinking land.  And whilst I adore Nikka Costa and the soul and fire in her voice, I just don't like the direction of the commercial releases. She's got a magical, stupifyingly powerful voice. I just really wish she would use it more whenst recording. 

I guess that sums up yesterday and today. Just kind of blah. Didn't post yesterday, because the negative energy levels were through the roof and thusly I didn't feel the need to impart them upon your collective psyche. 

I'm off. Perhaps to take a nap? Perhaps to knit? Who knows. Enjoy your weekend! Someone has to!  


15 February 2012

Everybody DOES Have Their Something...

Another lazy day at the abode, during a week where work's schedule is totally askew. Not cool, but it's what you gotta do anymore to be lucky enough to have a job, right?  So, no alarm today...just spent the day piddling around the house, doing assorted bits of laundry and fidgeting with the budget and the bills. ALWAYS a happy time had by all when I tackle THAT project!!  

In the meantime, I'm kind of excited about tomorrow's drive because, for Valentine's Day, my beloved got me this: 

So, yeah, I'm kind of WAY behind when it comes to collecting OR hearing this or any other artist that I love.....but I've been drawn to Nikka Costa since the first time I heard this, whilst watching 'Blow'...

She's got one of those voices that just can't be duplicated, replicated or otherwise mimicked or cloned. I just kind of dig her. 

In other news, one beloved has learned that the aforementioned...

Gently borrowed from this place

will be traveling through the not-so-very-near neighborhood, so we will be making a trek to Indy sometime later this year to see them. Think I'll go pack my yarn and hooks and needles NOW!  Maybe, before, during and after the show, I can make this: 

Found here, in all it's exquisite splendor...

To each their very own, I always say. He's got his Maiden. I've got my yarn. It just works. But, in the spirit of complete and total fairness, perhaps, on the way there, we'll be listening to my Nikka Costa collection. 

14 February 2012

Run To The Cupboards

No alarm, just my brain. About the 5th day of snow we've had all winter here, so mentally preparing for the drive to work. Thinking about Valentine's Day......and how I don't need a holiday to know that someone has my heart. Sometimes it just works.....this thing called love. That's not to say it's all hearts and flowers and easy, every second of every day, but when it's good, everything works out. Like a fine wine, I'd say we've mellowed, with age, in all the right places, yet we haven't lost any of that je ne sais quoi that keeps us all sparky. 

Sometimes, the rocky parts, have kept me hidden behind a very large, very tall brick wall.....where I hide what I truly feel. It's not often easy for me to say out loud that things are perfect or that I am so very happy to be where I am. That fear of jinxing things, I suppose. But it IS how I feel. Sometimes, you really do just have to let yourself fall and TRUST that the other person will always be there to catch you. 

So today, amidst all the reds, pinks, hearts, candies, roses and other muck, today I just want him to know that he is my world.  

If he was NOT my world, I would not indulge in his love of this band.... :D  

And secretly, just between you and I.....I really don't MIND them as much as I let on. 

But this song, this song just says it all......

That is all. :) 

13 February 2012

From Our Hats to Our Feet

Of course it's my day off and OF COURSE I don't sleep in. Of. Course.  Instead, I have this bouncing around inside my cranial cap....

Truly, it makes me want to go frolic out in the meadow, Julie Andrews style, apron and all.....

Gently borrowed from here...

Of course, the whole topic of hats was most likely brought on by the fact that someone commented that Mr. Richie Tyler-Woolgrove of Long Day Fear needed a 'trilby'....and me being ignorant and from the US, did not know what the hell a trilby was....to which my dear friend, Eliza, Richie's sister, responded that it was indeed a hat. Like this....

Again, gently borrowed from this place...

Or this, even....

Go here for more...

Puke. The only person who, in my opinion, looks good wearing said type of chapeau would be my son.  Just because he's adorable, he can get away with it!  

All of that, however, reminded me of a hat I once had, and wore.....much like those above, but made from leather.....and when I wore it, it twas the 80's and it was often paired with some form of lace, large, dangly earrings and neckties. So, yeah. I was dressed real neat from my hat to my feets. 

And with that, I say, we can all dance if we want to, wear what we want to, leave people behind that don't want to, and just say "fuck it". Upon occasion. Carry on!  :)  

12 February 2012

Cracks in the Vinyl

No alarm, just some maybe-not-so-alarming news upon entrance into the Web of Inters this morning...

I can remember (one of the few things I do...), back in the days of early adolescence, whether I heard her first on the radio (probably) or for some reason just bought her album, either way, I can remember sitting in my room listening to this song, howling at the top of my, then, fairly pristine lungs, trying to BE that voice......

Thirty years later....how things do change. For all of us. 

Just a few years back, I thought maybe she was going to turn it around.....beat her demons and all that....because I heard this....

Things come along sometimes just when you need them. This was one of those songs. That was a particularly shitty year. See, even back then, the Universe was sending messages. 

I hope she's in a better place now. And before all the full-scale media ass-kissing kicks into gear, here's a little message from my son's favorite squirrel:

I REFUSE to speculate about the cause of Ms. Houston's demise......because I despise it when people do that. What's the point. Wait until all the facts issue forth. THEN, gossip as you will. 

I guess the message of Universal means today is that maybe we should start loving and respecting the people around us here, now, today. INSTEAD of directly after they have taken their leave of this planet. But then people can't get their greedy lil talons on all that grief-driven cash if we all did that, right?  No one can make a profit if you lift someone up and support them and adore them whilst they are breathing. Sad but true. 

I mean, hey, imagine how different Adolf would've been if someone, somewhere had addressed his mental shortcomings LONG BEFORE he ever got started doing what it is that he most DEFINITELY did. 

Imagine, if we all rallied around Mr. Keidis so he could stop trying to visually emulate the aforementioned monster....

Gently borrowed from here
I know, sometimes, shit just hits the fan, no matter how much intervention or love is given, but if you take a look at all these celebrities, they seem to be surrounded by a bunch of self-absorbed, greed-driven YES people that give them exactly what they want whenever they want it. I guess so they can all come out with books about it afterwards.  Another fucked up fact. 

Perhaps, I have gotten a touch tangential, but that's just truly how I feel.  Don't pretend to love someone or care about them, then turn a blind eye to the fucked up things they are doing to themselfs, all in the hopes that the "trouble" will evaporate on its own. It just. does. NOT. work. 

Love the ones you are with while they are still here to BE with......


11 February 2012

Pacifiers and Panaceas

Whilst it would appear that I've been slacking, I've decided that some days, neither the Universe nor myself have much to say. Rather than trying to wring any kind of wisdom out of my lonely brain cell, it's sometimes better to remain silent. Today, however, I am off, so no wake up call. Just sitting here, listening to the wind, trying to stay warm and thinking. 

Being that my Beloved is on a Rush kick, after watching the dvd the other night, he played this for me ...

A beautiful song, one which he says makes him think about me. This makes me smile.  He's the romantic of the pair. I feel badly that I'm just not up to par in that department. I'm good at giving. I'm good at listening. I'm good at loving, in general. I just lack in romantic creativity. I wish it were different. I wish there was a manual that told me exactly what to do for THIS particular man that I could be 100% certain would let him know just how much I love him and how special he really is. 

All I can do is be me...

And think of this song, yet again...

See, I'm the pacifier. He's the panacea. I keep things calm, sometimes even balanced. He cures all my ills. That's just the way it is. 

09 February 2012

Circles and Straight Lines

Nothing sailing through my brain today from the Universe. No alarm, just me up early as usual because I fell asleep during the last part of this...

If you have never heard Neil Peart laugh, you must watch this.  Second only to the laugh of Johnny Kelly in Type O Negative's 'After Dark' video, of which I cannot find a clip, but it is awesome! Makes me smile every time!  

Anywhooooooooooo, a few weeks ago, a gentleman by the name of James, from Independent Music Promotions, stopped by this here blog and proposed that he send some new music my way for a listen and maybe to share with others. So I listened. I told him that I made no promises as to featuring anything here at Wake Up Call because I tend to post whatever is on my MIND as opposed to doing any sort of marketing, reviews, etc. And while I am absolutely certain that there are many people out there that will find what they are looking for in the musical stylings of the bands he forwarded, I know that I am probably not going to be one of them.  However, in the interest of fairness and a very open mind, I am going to share with you some linkities and you can peruse them at will.....

The Monks of Mellonwah

Rooftop Runners


Katrin the Thrill

Doug Prescott

You know what they say about trash and treasure.....so anything I would say would purely be my own opinion, and doesn't mean squat. If the music above does something for you, sweet. If not, then it just doesn't. 

Which makes me think more about how I choose what I listen to. For lack of a better term, it's a rather ""organic"" process. With me, it always has been. It's any combination of the voice, the lyrics and the melody.....or one of the three....that pull me in. For whatever reason, this song popped into my brain, probably after at least two decades of not having heard it....

I don't schedule time to go pick out a new artist. I don't listen to terrestrial or extraterrestrial, for that matter, radio.  Usually, if I hear something new, it's via something on TV or a movie or even something I run across on the web of Inters. Used to be, I'd go to the music store (quickly becoming a thing of the long ago past) and just pick something at random, just for shits and giggles.  It's how I found Extreme and it's how I found Life of Agony, just to name two.  

Sometimes, it happens purely by accident.  I didn't know JACK SHIT about Manhole when we went to see Type O Negative at Piere's in Ft. Wayne, back in 1996.  But, what has now evolved into My Ruin, has not ceased to entertain, enlighten, enrage and enthrall me ever since the first time I laid eyes on Tairrie B and heard her not-so-delicate SCREAM.  If you want to check them out, you can download their latest album for fucking FREE and decide for yourself.....

Just hit up MyRuin.net, from which I very gently and lovingly borrowed this shot but will remove it if Mrs. B demands it!  

I guess my point is, music is where you find it, and it's yours when you like it. There are far too many options out there, far too many excellent artists, performers, groups and sounds for someone NOT to be able to find SOMETHING that reaches their soul.  It's all about the search. It's all about keeping an open mind, not getting stuck in the Stepford Sheep mode, getting sucked into the same 5 songs your local radio station plays, simply because they only want to cater to the "masses". 

Enjoy your Thursday. I'm off to go play with donuts and baked goods. 

08 February 2012

Crashing In To Me

Clearly, there was a reason I didn't have much to say yesterday, I just didn't know it before I left the house for work. But again, that silly Universe works in very strange ways. Today, a day off. But let me go back to yesterday....my Beloved made me a glass of iced tea to take with me to work, but rather than putting it in the normal, lidless, glass, he put it in one of our insulated glasses that has a lid. Strange, I thought, but hey, it's a glass and he made it. What's NOT to love?  FF: Me, down the road about 1/2 a mile.....enter one dead cat in the road and two very quick moving deer. Imagine. It's never the first one...it's the second one that gets you.  They should space themselfs apart further!  And though it does NOT apply at all, this is the only song that comes to mind:

There's a first time for everything, and that was my first time having ever hit or been hit by a very large beast. In or out of the car! 

In other, probably less exciting news, this week was filled with a fuqueton of abuse from assorted boxes of frozen pastries, breads and other items, which also crashed into me...mainly atop my dainty little head.  Surprised I don't look like this now......

Gently borrowed from here ...

No matter where I am at, or what I am doing, I can usually find someway to bump my brain container into something that does not give. And typically, it hurts! Perhaps I should wear a helmet. I think that's it for today.  Going to spend my day off with my beloved getting repair estimates for the car, then lounging at home avoiding the annual doing of the taxes.  Happy Wednesday!  

06 February 2012

Changing Faces

Yeah, still, no alarm. I'm tired. Of a lot. Sometimes, no matter what I do, it's never enough. Doing things, being a certain way, saying things, none of it buys loyalty or respect, right?  I should really learn to take my own advice.

Above: Unpolished demo version....pretty cool. 
Below: Polished and much better with age........

Fleetwood Mac

I have come to know
This world of changing faces
I can't fight the world
I can't change it 

Think I'll just go knit and watch a movie and just be. Because I cannot BE anything other than me. Happy Monday!   

05 February 2012

Keeping Peace in Thin Air

By now, you know the drill.  No alarm. Just this, running through my head as soon as I got out of bed...

I never really looked at the lyrics until now, here, but I must admit I don't have two flying fuquetarts of a clue as to what this song means!  But, hey, it's Fleetwood Mac and thusly, it is cool in my book!  I'm fairly certain it's circling my brain cell because I listened to it yesterday. I must say, it's an excellent disc to have in the player when you're driving in less than favorable conditions, such as several inches of very unplowed and very slushy snow!  Keeps you on a mellow, even keel. 

I have no deep thoughts today. Nothing deep happened yesterday. Still a lot of thought about food and changes that need to be made. I know that I love my husband and I never want to be a contributing source of anything that makes him less than healthy, so in order for HIM to make changes, I, too, must change and do whatever it takes to get him in fighting form. I adore him.  Which brings to mind this, one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard....

I think that's it for today. Just listen and absorb. Ohm. :D 

04 February 2012

Rainbows and Silver Linings

Didn't sleep for shite. Conscious every hour on the hour, it seemed. Then I get up and this starts looping around in my skull....

Maybe because we heard it the other day whilst being out and about in the car? That would most likely HAVE to be it, since I don't listen to Rainbow on a regular basis. I'm gonna go out on a very shaky limb here and guesstimate that the Universe is trying to send a very loud, and very clear message to me and my beloved about our health. 

We've been somewhat ignorant to the exhorbitant amount of junk (in the form of processed foods and unhealthy fats) that we've been ingesting. We've got huge changes to make. Huge. A total renovation of the dietary (food, not fad diet) intake and starting to work out. We both work in very physical lines of work, yet, there is MORE we can do. 

So, it's time to pull out my copy of this...

and probably this, as well...

and definitely this....

So I can start to make sense of where we need to go, in terms of shopping, cooking, eating and moving.  I am blessed because I already have a general idea of what to do.....eliminate anything processed or full of bad fats, and start moving....and I think that since we'll be doing this together, that it will be much easier to accomplish what needs to be done.  

We've watched people on both sides of us go through issues caused by the ingestion of too much crap, and we both know that we don't want to copy that, so now IS definitely the time.  

Favorite motivational line ever....

"It has to start somewhere It has to start sometime
What better place than here, what better time than now?"

03 February 2012

If You Don't Believe It, Faces Come Out Of The Rain

Forever, I am cursed to awaken before the alarm clock, I fear. Oh. Well. So, the Universe has me considering the mindset of one daughter who is just not getting it. I don't know how to make her get it. I am left clueless.  What comes to mind is this...

Why can't she see that her future is very fucking bright......IF she makes it happen. Why can't she see that repeating the same behaviors and actions will lead to the very same consequences that she just went through? What is this incessant need for attention that drives her to take leave of all reason and become involved with the same kind of people she just got away from...the kind of people that suck your will to live because THEY have no will to live and thusly exist in the realm of fantasy?  I just. Do. Not. Get. It. 

I read what these people write and I am completely flummoxed. What is this?  Who are these beings that don't have a firm grasp on what is right in front of them?  

Makes me feel like this....

She just doesn't see......that some people should just.....

Going to run away to work now, and silently stick my head in the oven......it would be less frustrating.  

Happy Weekend!   

02 February 2012

It's Hard to Believe

No alarm. Day off. Yay! Just thinking more about the topic du jour (or du MONTH, or YEAR, even), my daughter. Brings to mind this song....

It's also a song that I listened to repeatedly (song rape, as my son would call it) back several years when things were somewhat rocky betwixt me and my beloved. Reminds me of Spring, driving home with the windows down and the volume cranked. No matter who you are, there's a song that heals the soul and gets you through your own personal collection of bullshit.  

A sort of melancholy-ous feeling comes over me at work, because I work with a girl that is the same age as my daughter. She's a lovely being. She makes the days go fast because she's always got a story to tell and a smile to give. She's what I wish my daughter would get to......working hard for her dreams, working to make a better life for herself, doing it on her own.  I don't know at exactly which point I failed in the mission to bring my own daughter up that way, but I did. All I can do now is be here for her and hope that she comes to the realization that she's got all the power in the world to make her life what SHE wants it to be. 

That's just the way it is....

01 February 2012

Head in the Clouds

Why, oh why, can I not sleep worth a shite? Woke up with this swirling around in the cranial cavity....

Favorite line: 

Bless your soul, you've got you're head in the clouds...

I wish I could remove my daughter's head from the clouds and make her come back down and visit with reality for a touch, but I can't. That's the hardest part, knowing that no matter how hard I try, no matter what I say or do, I can't control her. I can't wake her up. Only she can do that.  

I think that's it for today. Happy Wednesday!