13 January 2012

Summer Fall, Winter Spring

Well, the alarm clock did its job, but the Universe only provided a commercial interruption about the radio station in question. So far this year's winter has been a dud, until today. The snow is starting to fall and stick in place, amidst 30 mph winds.....and it brings to mind this:

The sound is kind of wonky, but the Universe typically does not send musical messages via live recordings, so I try to provide for you what I hear in my head. No, maybe the song doesn't much apply to snow and wind, but it applies to recent happenings in and around the abode, so yeah.  

I don't typically ask for or demand apologies. Why? Because I think to demand or ask for one means that what you receive may be quite less than sincere. To me, if someone is sorry, they would say it freely, without the thought being suggested to them. 

As a child, I was pretty much just a puppet on someone else's narcissistic strings. Do this, do that, stand up straight, smile, speak clearly, blah blah blah blah blah.................today, I'm on my own strings. I refuse to wait around for someone to stop judging me and instead realize that I do, indeed, have value, even if I don't meet up to their expectations. Not gonna happen, so I'm not gonna waste one more second of this lifetime pining away for it. 

Love me as I am, flaws and all (without pointing every single on of them out so vividly) or find the damned door and use it. 

Or maybe this song applies, in reverse, somewhat: 

I DO wanna be me, in spite of the fact that other people never did want me to be myself. I want to think for myself, I want to make my own mistakes and yet make the right decisions. I don't need someone's loathing, criticism and obsessive penchant for control to make me a better person. I am a better person, in SPITE of living with those things. And no, this is not regarding my beloved. Not at all. He's quite the opposite of others. He actually sees me for who I am and loves me for it. 

So, I guess, Universally speaking, you have to just be yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Otherwise, you're not really living. 

Happy Friday!  

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