02 January 2012

Circles and Squares

No alarm, well, except for after I was out of bed, because I forgot to shut it off, thusly wakening my beloved. OOPS!  All I heard was a random, unidentifiable to me, guitar solo, which means I am once again left to my own devices.

Today, at approximately 2:38 PM, is my daughter's 20th birthday. I was forced to look up the things which I may have listened to back then, mainly because memory fails me. Sad, but very true. Who the hell knew that Mariah Carey was around back then, or that Gerardo wouldn't be around today?  I mean, Rico Suave was such an enlightening and powerful piece of art. Puke. I'm sure there was some Slaughter floating around, some Pearl Jam, Damn Yankees, Firehouse, Mr. Big and the like, but I think the band I most liked at that time was Extreme.



Things were all of a mess back then. I was a mess back then. Too much stupidity and not enough common sense or drive to do anything different, I suppose. Always getting into situations that I had no business being in....that was me. Makes me cringe now. What a waste. I live with lots of 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' when I think back to those times...wondering if I had had a different state of mind, then maybe I would have been a better mother and things today would be so much different. But, I can't go back, I can't change the past, and today just has to be what it is.

I guess the universe would like me to wake up to the fact that circles will never fit where squares should be, and no matter how hard you try, you'll never make it otherwise. In other words, accept people for who they are, love them for who they are, without fail and without trying to change them into someone they'll never be. I fell short on that particular bit of common sense for a long while. But, with age comes wisdom, sometimes....


Extreme

Life's ambition occupies my time
Priorities confuse the mind
Happiness one step behind
This inner peace I've yet to find

Rivers flow into the sea
Yet even the sea is not so full of me
If I'm not blind why can't I see
That a circle can't fit
Where a square should be

There's a hole in my heart
That can only be filled by you
And this hole in my heart
Can't be filled with the things I do

Hole hearted
Hole hearted

This heart of stone is where I hide
These feet of clay kept warm inside
Day by day less satisfied
Not fade away before I die

Rivers flow into the sea
Yet even the sea is not so full of me
If I'm not blind why can't I see
That a circle can't fit
Where a square should be

There's a hole in my heart
That can only be filled by you
And this hole in my heart
Can't be filled with the things I do
There's a hole in my heart
That can only be filled by you
Should've known from the start
I'd fall short with the things I do

Hole hearted

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