23 November 2011


No alarm, just me, up with a raging headache. Brings to mind the joys and virtues of things that take away pain, like anesthesia and morphine. Every sound hurts right now, from the beloved's alarm going off to the cat scratching in the litter box and surrounding newspaper.....

And from headache, my mind instantly travels to this song: 

This is a man missed. This is a loss if ever there was one. There will never be music like this ever again, never a voice like that again. Type O Negative is a huge part of my life, present from the early 20s and played repeatedly to this day, though probably not as much. It's been about 1.5 years since he died, so listening to their music is still kind of difficult because it signifies that that is IT and there will be no MORE. Suck. 

Then, yesterday, my beloved introduced me a man the world never got to fully meet: 

Someone "discovered" him playing in a subway station....and before he could truly shine, for some unknown reason he took his own life earlier this month. 

I guess it means this: Appreciate people. That's a mouthful coming from me, who generally doesn't want to be around people, but I also know that EVERY people has worth.....and EVERY people has something inside that drives them and life is far to unpredictable and short to shut everyone out. 

"Are a thousand tears worth a single smile?

When you give an inch, will they take a mile?"

~from Anethesia [Type O Negative]


DS_Aldridge said...

He sure had Johnny Cash down. I understand suicide more than I understand life sometimes.

Miragi said...

It's just eerie. And sad. The unknown is what keeps me here...that and not being able to leave the ones I love or the ones who love me. I love you! xoxxoxox