30 November 2011

I'm Not Eighteen Anymore

Otherwise, I probably would have handled the radio alarm, at full volume throttle, this morning, much, much better.  Ironic, that the incoming message was:

"cause I'm eighteen I get confused every day eighteen I just don't know what to say eighteen I gotta get away"

Sad to say, that feeling of confusion and lack of words doesn't much disappear...no matter what age you get to....all I know is that I'm quite content to never revisit that particular era of my life. Actually this particular age, maybe without several years' worth of the drama and bullshit, would be the perfect age. You know where you've been, you know where you want to go, and for the most part, you know what it takes to get there. 

I'm not eighteen anymore, but at least I still don't LOOK my age, nor really do I act it..... :D

29 November 2011

One of These Cars

Woke up at 3:24....some 11 minutes before the alarm. Mainly because we've got some sort of issue that makes the house smell like sewage whenever it rains heavily, and it was, and still is, one hour later, raining heavily. Puke. So I cheated, and looked at the radio station's playlist again. At the time of awakenage, this was playing:

"I've been searching for the daughter 
of the devil himself 
I've been searching for an angel in white 
I've been waiting for a woman who's a little 
of both"

~from 'One of These Nights' 

That music takes me back. Remember 8-Track tapes? I had Hotel California on 8-Track, and a Dodge Diplomat, in dull gray.white, with shiny red leather interior....and a not-so-shiny-or-new-8-Track-Tape-Player.....(it's really annoying to insert so many hyphens!) And wouldn't you know, the only picture I cannot find on the internet is that of a gray/white Dodge Diplomat that looked like mine....but it kind of looked like this: 

When you're young and you get a car from your parents, you really can't afford to be a vehicle snot and expect the latest Trans-Am or Camaro (dated, yes...I'm older, deal with it. :D)  

So, I guess today's wake up call is that I should look back fondly on the assortment of cars I've had and be grateful for every one of them, including the diesel versions of the Cutlass (of which there were two), the Dodge, the Ford Fairmont, some little burgundy car that caught on fire, but which I cannot remember the make or model, my first favorite, the li'l black Ford Escort 5-speeder, the Ford Contour, my second favorite, my beloved Concord, seen here, on her last day at the farm: 

Now, we've got a new, used car, which we will drive until death, because that's what we do...get them used, then drive them til they can drive no more. Cars get fancier, they come with more bells and whistles, but still, somedays, I miss that 8-track-Tape-Player and my Hotel California, Alice Cooper and Grease Soundtrack tapes. 

28 November 2011

Engine Coolant

I actually slept til the alarm went off (GASP!!!).....and woke up to this:

Not really full of lyrical profundity, maybe its a warning to not get TOO rambunctious or excited or overinvolved in the new job arena. Today is the first day. Just take it slow. I'm in a much different mindset today, as opposed to even four years ago when I started my last 'new job' outside the home. The only thing stressing me out now is how bad that boys are going to wreck the bedroom whilst I am gone for so many hours at a time.  We've got to figure something out. Kennels? I hate the thought. Maybe shipping them out to the other room during the day. There's a heater out there, a couch for them to lay on and plenty of room to run around and minimal damage they could do out there. Alas, I ramble.  

It's Monday. The day for new beginnings. Looking forward to all the positive changes that are about to take place. Not looking back, not going to make the same mistakes as before and embracing whatever comes along. 

Oh, and Christmas....I'm actually looking forward to it this year, for the first time in longer than I can remember. And since it's just the two of us, we're making our own tree dedicated to Type O Negative, complete with a ton of green and black ornaments, green ribbon, green lights and whatever other black items we can find, like a top hat...to top it off. Pictures will abound when it's done. Probably won't go really well with our somewhat brown/tannish living room and burgundy-colored curtains, but really, it's just us, so if it makes us happy, that's all that matters.  

Have a wonderful week, cool your engines and go with the flow for a second or two!  

27 November 2011

Red Cross Hell

No alarm, just the last morning where I can sleep in of my own accord, without an official work schedule. Tomorrow is Day One of the newly obtained 'job' outside the home. Things are better for us than they have been in years, finally we can breathe. Yet the first song that popped in my head today was this:

We have such a wide variety of funny relationships with doctors. On one hand, we dread seeing them, on another, they are magically there when we have any number of aches and pains. There are good ones, there are great ones, then there are those whose personas resemble that of a sloth on painkillers. I try not to see too many of them, including my own family physician, on any kind of regular basis. I'm the type that goes when something is REALLY wrong....and sometimes way later than I should have gone. 

26 November 2011

Stardust, Bombers, Mothers and Daughters

No alarm...and of course, waking up of my own accord, for some reason I still had 'Wild Horses' stuck on loop. So, I kind of cheated and went to the radio station website to see what THEY were playing at the precise moment when I woke up this morning: 4:55 AM.

I will readily admit that I am an idiot when it comes to music history, trivia and other assorted factoids. Thusly, although I have heard this song numerous times throughout life, I never realized that it was also THIS song: 

Further delineating the reasons why I am an idiot, I can honestly say that I never heard Joni Mitchell's piece until we watched Six Feet Under.

25 November 2011

Dancing, Calling, Laughing, Falling..........

Yet again, no alarm...just the boys jumping up and down from the bed, random barking and the sounds of my son trying to be quiet but not quite succeeding. Those are the things I miss. I wish he was here all the time. O well, those kids, they grow up.

I woke up with this song looping in the brain cell....

There's not much profundity to it....and just a few lines get stuck: 

"...And we're all going to meet her
Yes we're all going to meet her..."

Who the hell is 'her'? I don't have clue what the song means, but it's beautiful and mellow and peaceful. 

I really missed my mother-in-law yesterday. It's been four years since she went away....maybe that song just reminds me that someday we'll all meet her again. Somewhere. She was a beautiful soul and she is missed more than I think she would ever have imagined.

I miss a lot of things, yet a lot of the things I miss are things that I never had to begin with....so maybe I'm just envious of others who do have those things. 

I hope you all had a lovely holiday with your beloveds and families.......and if you partake in Black Friday festivities, may the force be with you and you are a more patient beast than I. Happy Day After Thanksgiving!  Enjoy! 

24 November 2011

Faith is Not Broken

No alarm today, just the sounds of my son coming in at 3:15 am, dogs barking and him trying to tiptoe around in his room. Nice try.

Since I don't get to watch a lot of prime time television, I haven't been able to watch full episodes of 'X Factor' for most of its duration. No big loss, because, really, it's all hype, except for the singing parts, which is what I REALLY want to see, and not even all the performers, just a few.

When it comes to music, there are lots of things upon which the beloved and I disagree. Take 'Wild Horses', for instance. He insists that no one should ever perform that song except The Stones. I wholeheartedly disagree. Sure, there are some artists who just shouldn't have even bothered (Leon Russell, Debbie Harry and Susan Boyle, for starters....), but then there are those who take that song and fly with it.

Some songs are just built to withstand the slings and misfortunes of outrageous performers. While I don't disagree that The Stones did it best (since it was THEIR song....), it is entire possible for someone else to be inspired enough and talented enough to make the song their own.

Here's the original:

Here are just a few of the renditions that back up my theory.....

and last, but the one that my beloved will undoubtedly despise the most, but the one that really, REALLY shines: 

I don't care that we disagree.....I know what music means to me. He knows what it means to him, and if never the twain shall meet, so be it, wild horses couldn't take us away from our feelings. Oh, and wild horses can't ever drag me away from him.  So, today, on Thanksgiving, regardless of petty arguments about the irrelevant things in life, I am grateful for my husband. I adore him. My faith is not broken any more, and no matter where life takes us, I know that he will forever have my heart.  

Yet, I will someday own the first Josh Krajcik cd made after 'X Factor' ends. 

23 November 2011


No alarm, just me, up with a raging headache. Brings to mind the joys and virtues of things that take away pain, like anesthesia and morphine. Every sound hurts right now, from the beloved's alarm going off to the cat scratching in the litter box and surrounding newspaper.....

And from headache, my mind instantly travels to this song: 

This is a man missed. This is a loss if ever there was one. There will never be music like this ever again, never a voice like that again. Type O Negative is a huge part of my life, present from the early 20s and played repeatedly to this day, though probably not as much. It's been about 1.5 years since he died, so listening to their music is still kind of difficult because it signifies that that is IT and there will be no MORE. Suck. 

Then, yesterday, my beloved introduced me a man the world never got to fully meet: 

Someone "discovered" him playing in a subway station....and before he could truly shine, for some unknown reason he took his own life earlier this month. 

I guess it means this: Appreciate people. That's a mouthful coming from me, who generally doesn't want to be around people, but I also know that EVERY people has worth.....and EVERY people has something inside that drives them and life is far to unpredictable and short to shut everyone out. 

"Are a thousand tears worth a single smile?

When you give an inch, will they take a mile?"

~from Anethesia [Type O Negative]

22 November 2011

Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Foreigner

It helps to get one's Universal messages loud and clear when one actually turns the volume UP on the radio first. Instead of being blasted out of bed this morning, I was gently awakened by random guitar solo noise in the  background of my psyche. For the life of me, I could not place the solo...no words were forthcoming and I had to pee, thusly I just shut it off. The website playlist stated that it was either Foreigner's Jukebox Hero at 3:28 AM or Hendrix's's's's The Wind Cries Mary at 3:33 AM...which I don't think it was...because my clock is not THAT far off. And it was definitely not Van Halen's Drop Dead Legs, because that's just instantly recognizable...

Sooooooooooooo, while I do not remember there being such a long winded guitar solo in the middle of Jukebox Hero, I thought..HEY I'll look it up.  Instead, I found Jukebox Hero, the band, which was a much better find, because of this guy:

His name is Brian Gresh. He likes to wear red pants. Oh, and he can play the SHIT out of a guitar!  Plus, he does backflips. He's a plethora of talents all rolled into one human!  I wouldn't give two looks to the rest of the band, mainly because it's a cover band....which is not covering very well...but this guy's got the chops.....

Hopefully, by now, he's broken away or the band has improved, and he'll be able to get some recognition for his playing abilities. We need more musicians who can actually play something other than the garbage currently referred to as metal/rock/whatever the fuck you call it....the world also needs more backflips. 

Oh, and if I could do a backflip, I would, but that would look horrifically comical....not to mention stupid, but I would do one just the same because, finally, after 3 years of looking, applying, sporadic interviews and frustration, I finally have landed.....a JOB.  :D  

I guess the Universal message of the day, is NEVER give up and when you don't find what you're looking for, look for something else. Carry on. 

21 November 2011


Sometimes, I am subjected to deep thoughts than my brain cell can handle.

Sometimes, I wake up and the stupidest song on the planet will be looping in my brain:

While the song is annoying, the show amuses me greatly, and I typically am NOT the type to be amused by laugh-track-enhanced sitcoms. When you live with someone who tends toward OCD, and you ARE someone who leans toward OCD, and you have given birth to an intelligent being, who does not yet fully realize just how intelligent he really is, this show is just a kind of review of everyday life. Kind of. 

Take this scene, for instance: 

Perfect example of how you can't visually or specifically pinpoint that something is off, but you feel it just the same. Penny accidentally shot Leonard's seat cushion with a paint ball gun, then flipped the cushion over to hide it. My beloved is much the same....you can change things, but he will, without pause, be able to tell. Like me, with my messy piles of papers.  Damn it. I know where things are. If you, or the random cat Jezebel, try to rearrange things, however, it throws off my universal flow. Organization, and the lack thereof, is definitely NOT in the eye of the beholder, but the beholdee. 

The phrase 'Live and let live' comes to mind, often. It gets me through the weekly trip to the store without killing certain other shoppers. The phrase 'A place for everything and everything in its place' also comes rushing in, because whilst I might appear to be a gigantic slob, really, I am quite organized and rely on my systems of storage to help me function. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to increase my neatness factor, just means that it is what is is, and the mess often works better for me. Sad but true.  

One day I'll get it all together, I promise. 

20 November 2011

Lonely Tangos, Makeup and Sunshine

No alarm. I actually got SEVEN hours of sleep this night. Amazing. Sometimes, when a song gets stuck in my head, for days, I think it must mean something (other than that I am just loopy) and there's something for me to learn. Not always, but sometimes.

Yesterday, my FB friend, Richie, of Long Day Fear, posted a Police video:

Which, for some reason unbeknownst to me, brought this to mind: 

Which really, in no way, resembles this: 

Yet, the tune is damned catchy, no matter which way you hear it. And, upon doing some research, I learned some new things today:

Jacek Koman (The Unconscious Argentinean in Moulin Rougelooks eerily similar to Hugh Laurie.

Images gently borrowed and accredited to these two sites: 

Jose Feliciano performed on El Tango de Roxanne, yet for the life of me, I cannot find visual proof. Yet, during my search, I found this: 

and this.....

(One of my favorite songs ever)

Which then led me to this: 

I am all over the place when it comes to music. There's very little that I do NOT like....it's more about an individual song than a genre for me. It is the feeling evoked from a certain set of words and notes, nothing I can precisely describe. All I know is that without music, the world would be even more bleak than it is now, and a certain level of joy would be removed from this thing called 'being human'. Oh, and though he's had some real stinkers, I think Baz Luhrman's Moulin Rouge was an astounding creation. Just listen to the music. Listen and watch it and be even more amazed, inspired and entranced. 

19 November 2011

Fatted Calves, Indonesian Blues and Escaped Convicts

Good Lord. What it takes sometimes to figure out what I heard coming from the radio. So I'm going to surmise that the Universe decided to teach me a lesson about searching for answers on my own, in yet another form.  The Universe is getting lazy, perhaps?

So.............I woke up to "My souls on fireeeeeeeeeeeeee".....and for the life of me, I could not place the voice or the song, even though I've heard it tons of times.

Trusty Google came to my aid and I added the words 'She set...' during my search.  First, I found this:

Never heard of it, or Mr. Parker before in my life, mainly because I've never been a huge fan of the old, old, OLD-School blues. It was cool though, sort of reminded me of our honeymoon in New Orleans and a visit to this most excellent bar called 'The Fatted Calf' which was right around the corner from our hotel, so it was most conveniently located for lots of imbibement. But that was eons ago.....still I do know now what it means to miss New Orleans....

Back to the story at hand:  I searched again, omitting the 'She'...and came up with this: 

Yet another artist I've never seen nor heard of til today, but these guys I may have to devote some more time to.....this is more my speed. They're called Gugun Blues Shelter , an 'Indonesian Blues power trio', of all things to discover at 2:30 AM in the throes of Ohio. 

After listening to that fairly decent tune, I decided "HEY...why not go to the radio station website and see if they have a play list?"  So I did. And so did they.......right here. Whaddya know.....there's a whole list, sorted by song title, artist and even the time they played it.  Pretty damned spiffy and just a smidgen of helpfulness to those of us who suck at song title remembrance. 

There it was, at the 2:26 AM mark:  Bad Company's Burnin' Sky.  Well DUHHHHHHHHHH.....how could I NOT have recognized the sound?  Because I wasn't awake, damn it!   

I don't remember him looking that creepy when I met him...but then, that was back in like the early, early 90's, so yeah.  Still, he's kept the voice and that's really all that counts when you go see Bad Company live. 

So, what have we learned from today's wake up call?  That, sometimes, you find things you might not have otherwise found, and learn things you might not have otherwise learned, when you have to go in search of the answers yourself.  Let me know what you find today during your travels of the Internets!  

18 November 2011

Dusting in the Wind

More internet issues abounded last night, well into this morning....silly technology. But NOW it would appear, at least for the moment, that I am once again connected.  Brought to mind this song. 


All we are is dust in the wind. Which then led me to think about how nothing is truly solid, and I went on a search and found this:  

Which then leads me to be NOTHING but confused.  Someday, maybe I'll finish The Elegant Universe and be able to fully wrap my mind around such atrocities as String Theories and the like.  Until then, I'm happy living in only one level of existence.  

Oh, and that's a pretty cool video up there, someone made that back in 1977....before MTV.  Sweet. 

17 November 2011

Dollhouses, Tattle Tales and Seven Veils

No alarm for the umpteenth time….because for some reason I keep waking up beforehand.  Might be due to the medication I started taking yesterday, an anti-inflammatory more popularly known as an NSAID. I have ONE thumb that has decided to be pissy….and somewhere between the early onset of arthritis or a jamming that I never realized I did, that fuquer HURTS and refuses to be completely mobile, so after a month of its uncooperative behavior, it and I paid and visit to the doctor. One stupid pill put me in an alternate universe of upset stomach, vomiting and extreme gas.

The joys of getting older.

If that wasn’t enough, my 4G card died, right in the midst of a driver update no less, yesterday morning, so I’ve been without internets until the new card arrives sometime today.  Big corporation or no, you gotta hand it to Verizon for some stellar, AMERICAN, customer service where you don’t have to enter verbal warfare to get what you need. I don’t even think I was talking to the woman for ONE minute before she determined that I deserved a brand new card that would arrive today via overnight shipping.  Too bad we can’t say the same for Sprint’s double-billing, completely-in-denial-ass or T-Mobile’s stable of not-Native-Indians names Paul, Steve or Betsy.

I digress from the theme of this particular blog, however.  While the universe has once again left me without clue, my brain decided to lighten the mood with a rousing loop of GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS…………….

……at 3:05 AM. Really. Maybe it was due to watching Dani California the other day, or perhaps because I bore witness to the wigged wonder Brett Michaels performing what may be the shittiest, least sincere rendition of a guitar ballad on one of Regis Philbin’s final “Regis & Kelly” shows.  (This is what happens when my Internets vanish, I am forced to turn on the television for noise.) Or perhaps it was my brain cell’s lame attempt at regaining my youth.

What do YOU do to relive your youth? 

UPDATE:  Clearly, I have regained access to the Internets. And, as mentioned previously, Verizon, corporate conglomerate or no, seems to be kicking ass, at least when it comes to customer service for cell and wireless broadband.  Can't say the same about landline service, but that's a whole other novella. :D 

16 November 2011

Filthy Gorgeous

No alarm. Too much tea before bed means your bladder will awaken you well before the radio will. Nothing profound this morning, via the universe, so I'll make my own wisdom.

This song pretty much sums up the level of disconnectedness I feel. I've been doing alot of reminiscing as of late, going back to the old school musics, maybe just trying to figure out where I went wrong. Trying to outline all the patterns of old so they won't be repeated. Some things are just downright impossible, like earning the respect of a father who thinks of you as nothing more than a failure. 

I think that, for the most part, I shut myself off from people, from friends or any sort of close relationships, as a defense mechanism. If you can't see inside me, you can't use it against me. And yet, since my heart is so sturdily sewn to my sleeve, I still manage to get hurt easily.  

Someone asked this today:  "You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see. Why can't you close your heart to things you don't want to feel?"

Maybe it's because the possession of a heart comes packaged with blind eyes that allow all sorts of crap to be filtered out and away. It just is what it is. 

And I'm a sinner, so let's all pray
I wouldn't want it any other way

This post brought to you by random musings at 3:30 AM. 

15 November 2011

Specks of Butterfly Rage

No words came screaming from the radio today. Just me, still pondering an image I saw yesterday. 

Image gently borrowed from here

Which then led my brain cell to start looping this: 

So, whether we're specks of dust or caged rodents, all the detritus that consumes us, day in and day out, is just simply irrelevant. Since I was pondering the presence of too much stuff yesterday, it seems only fitting that today it all gets put into perspective and you realize that what really matters is how you prioritize all this stuff.  

14 November 2011

Fools and Kings

Nothing today, nothing at all. No alarm, no song in my head.  Last night I mused that there is just too much.  Too much music. Too many books. Too many movies. Too many things to do. Especially for someone like me, with the attention span of a flea. On crack. Another thing about me, when I DO get a song stuck in my head, don't ask me the name of the song, because I utterly SUCK at song titles. I have to look things up via lyrics...and if I can't clearly hear the lyrics in my head, I'm sorta screwed.

Which brings me to today's selection.  Since one can't always hear the answers from the Universe, sometimes it's necessary to find the wisdom yourself.  I only speak the truth.....repeatedly......

13 November 2011


First words of the day today? None...just guitar. Funny, when I was little I thought their name was 'The Almond Brothers'....First time I remember seeing Greg Allman was on the front page of The Enquirer at the grocery store when he was dating Cher.  Yes, I remember that clearly....along with pictures of Gene Simmons, sans makeup, with a mask over most of his lower face...not at the same time, but also seen whilst standing in the checkout line. You learn so much when going to buy groceries. But then, that was in a time when we didn't have Wikis or Googles or even phones that went outside the house.  I am ancient, I fear.  

I don't feel old. 

Other than that, I have nothing profound to say today. Happy Sunday!  

12 November 2011

The Wicked and Wild Wind

No first words, up before the alarm, only the sound of the neighbor's freezing dog barking at the moon, carrying on for at least a good 30-45 minutes. No "pet" kept by a human should be subjected to that type of treatment....however, I digress. I could go on ad infinitum...but I won't. 

On to the first words in my head:

"I used to rule the world..."

Not really. I've never really ruled much of anything in life, let alone myself. That needs to change. It is. Just slowly. So maybe this song is for me, in reverse. Sweeping the streets (proverbially, not literally) in the past, maybe now is my time to own them. Now that all the extraneous bullshit is out of the way, maybe now it's time to see who I really am meant to be....or not to be. 

That is the question. 

11 November 2011

I've Torn My Dress...My Face is a Mess

First words of the day:  Rebel, Rebel......

Not one of my favorite songs, nor one of my favorite artists......but you can't win 'em all, right?  
Today is 11.11.11. 

Supposedly, many good things are supposed to happen today, if you follow numerology. I know about it, but I don't live by it. My life path number is 4. That's 7 + 2 + 7 + 1 + 9 + 6 + 8  reduced to a single digit.  

10 November 2011

Free Your Mind...

...and the rest will follow.  Not from the alarm clock, but inspired by a friend's FB posting of an old Native American Hopi Indian proverb, or other wise collection of words......and not at all related, but the song started looping just the same, and somewhat, very, very loosely, it ties in.....

This is the quote:

"There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. 
They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for."

--The Elders Oraibi Arizona Hopi Nation

This is the song:

09 November 2011

Tuna Fleets

Really?  Tuna fleets?  Do tuna really travel in fleets? I may have to Google that, eh?  Regardless, today, weather-wise, is NOT a beautiful day, yet yesterday and all days now following are somewhat more beautiful.

I love this song. No alarm today, but after the events of yesterday, this song immediately started looping in my brain this morning. Depression has taken it's ugly hold over my brain again as of late....lots of shitstorms, so very few umbrellas. Going on Year #3 without finding substantial, gainful employment outside, or inside, the home. Car that we bought in 2005 with 112,000+ miles, finally gave up the ghost about a month ago. Been stuck at home, with no means of transport, without having to borrow a car or wait until my beloved gets home from work. (Allow me to qualify all that:  We live in rural Ohio, five miles outside the nearest town and at least 20 miles from the nearest city) No car = no way to get a job. No way to get a job = no way to qualify to get a car payment that's even humanly affordable. That good old Catch 22. 

08 November 2011


No alarm today. Just me, up at an ungodly hour, because, as per usual, my brain refuses to shut down. Sometimes, 24 hours in a day is too many hours, probably because I'm always awake for so many of them. Sometimes, I really do just want to be sedated. Like, after surgery, that morphine was DI-VINE!  Feel nothing, think nothing, just lay there and float.

Funny, coming from someone who rarely touches alternative forms of self-medication. I drink maybe quarterly, I don't partake (although unlike some former presidentia, I can admit that I have before inhaled...), no snorting, no shooting up...no nothing. Well, except nicotine. She's a bitch that I cannot seem to tame, and it pisses me off to be so weak.

What's your vice? What makes YOU want to be sedated?

07 November 2011

Bad Company

First words of the day: 'Ready for love.....'

Funny thing about Bad Company. Saw them twice, met them once. They had a British drum tech, we met him in the parking lot on the way into the venue....got backstage, never once sat in our assigned, ticketed seats, then went to some bar in Dayton. It was many moons ago, I don't remember much except that I felt highly out of place. I'm just not Groupie material. Way too shy for all that and I have no agenda to get brushed by fame......

So how does this apply to me today? Maybe it's in this particular verse:

Now I'm on my feet again,
Better things are bound to happen,
All my dues surely must be paid,
Many miles and many tears,
Times were hard, but now they're changing,
You should know that I'm not afraid

I mean, how many dues must one pay before something goes completely and totally right? One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time. Something's gotta give, right?  

06 November 2011

Pardon Me

While I burst into flame.........

No alarm today. Just a stupid time change that had us in bed at 7:15 PM, once I set the clocks back after being reminded at least 3 times. So, in that fugue-y realm between fully awake and completely out, for some reason, this song started playing in my lone brain cell.  Then, my mind went on to ponder the true workings of spontaneous combustion. Everything from 'Is it really real?' to 'I wonder if you can spontaneously combust whilst lying in bed next to one other human and two dogs?' Happy thoughts. 

However, hearing that song could just be reminiscent of how I've been feeling as of late. I really have had enough of this world and the mindless games and bullshit. We often discuss escaping Ohio for more fruitful, or at least visually pleasing territory, such as Arizona. But then, being fed up with the way this country is run, we start to fancy a one-way ticket to some other country. Something European. Something free. Yet, when you look at the world, as a whole, it's all fuqued up, so really, I don't think it matters where you move, there's still going to be a heaping ration of bullshit. 

What makes YOU wish to spontaneously combust?  

05 November 2011

Bargain Bin

First words of the day:  "I'd gladly lose me to find you....I'd gladly give up all I had....."

Of course, it just wasn't registering, so I had to sit on the edge of the bed and listen....and think...and listen...and then my beloved told me exactly what it was because he has this uncanny assortment of metal music knowledge, a knowledge that can and will take him places, and can spout off interesting tidbits and factoids at all hours of the day and night, even in a semi-conscious state.  

Me and The Who. It's strange. I don't LOVE love them......they aren't my favorite band ever, but damn it all if they don't have some catchy tunes!  I grew up with whatever got radio play.....thus I heard lots of Pinball Wizard and You Better You Bet.....but not a lot of their really GOOD stuff until I got older.  

Oh, and today will be a day of using lots of these:  ".........." just because I like to use those. Right or wrong. It's a bargain.......

04 November 2011

My Head's My Home

Didn't sleep for shit last night....woke up about 4 times, right up til 20 minutes before the alarm was set to jolt me awake.....so, no Wake Up Call from the radio. However, this song has been looping in the brain:

Probably because we listened to it the other day, so the remnants are still floating around in the ether of my one remaining brain cell.....yet, every time I hear this song it takes me away. My head really is my home....I get stuck in it a lot. 

I'm gonna take you
To a place far from here
No one will see us
Watch the pain as it disappears
No time for anger
No time for despair
Won't you come with me
There's a room for us there
This innocent beauty
My words can't describe
This rebirth to purity
Brings a sullen tear right to your eyes
No time for anger
No time for despair
Please let me take you
'cause I'm already there

I'm so alone
My head's my home
I'll return to serenity

Rhyme without reason is why children cry
They see through the system
That's breeding them just so they die
So please let me take you
And I'll show you the truth
Inside my reality
We shared in our youth

I'm so alone
My head's my home
And I feel
So alone
You know
At last
I'll return to serenity

Now that I've taken you
To a place far from here
I really must go back
Close your eyes and we'll disappear
Won't you come with me
Salvation we'll share
Inside of my head now
There's a room for us there