11 January 2016

Sour, Sand, and Stardust ...

The Theys say that the celebrities, they depart in groups of three, and I guess this round is no exception to that rule.  Not really sure about that rule, but this round of three really hits home. So much of youth and growing up and becoming who I am took place with many of the songs of these people either playing in the background or at full volume. What a way to end an old year and start a new one, eh?  

Not much to be said about Mr. Weiland that hasn't been said. I saw STP once, live, with my beloved. All I really remember, some decades later, is that he had on a rainbow clown wig, sat on a giant swing that raised and lowered and he was massively fucked up during that performance, and that was before we really knew what was going on in his world. Really, I think that was before we even had much contact with the internets. I'm not the musical aficionado that can rattle off all manner of deep tracks for you to go seek out, but YouBoob can see to that for you. Definitely a loss of talent that probably won't soon be replaced, not by the likes of the shite that is taking over the music world now. 




Lemme just say this: The world lost who was, in my mind, a man's man ... Metal all the way. Man all the way. He had his flaws, but he wasn't trying to pretend perfection. He did his thing, he did it to the best of his ability, and he did it with blood concocted of Jack and Coke and tobacco smoke. No, I was never a HUGE Motorhead fan, but I was a Lemmy fan, mostly because of his 'Fuck it' demeanor. Watching the documentary of his life, "Lemmy", really cemented my admiration for what he was all about. It was truly an unreal experience to sit here Sunday night and watch his memorial service, streaming live from LA, but it was also kind of really cool to be able to hear the many thoughts and stories that friends, family and fellow musicians had to share. Lemmy's boots were made for walking and he walked right outta here. As for this song, honestly, I just found it, and know that if I ever have to hear this song again, the only version I want to hear is this one. Period. The original can be locked away for eternity. End of ... 




Never a huge Bowie fanatic, I can't speak to much of anything about him except for he tripped me out and I just dug his style. Period. I know full well that his music meant so much to so many people and this loss is shocking and huge. Living a sheltered childhood, I wasn't exposed to much of his work until later in the adolescent years, so forgive me the fact that one of my favorites is one of the more commercial hits, China Girl. Don't know why, just dig it. This one, Heroes, I love because it's a song that my beloved always tells me applies to us. It's been around in numerous variations throughout our life together, and the words make it easier to get through the hard stuff. 




What it really boils down to is that all this demise has made me truly realize that there is absofuckinglutely no point to sitting around waiting on life to make itself happen FOR us. 


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It also finally hit me that the reason they call the age of 40 being "over the hill" is because time now moves at the speed of a bicycle going down a very steep hill in a place like San Francisco.  As Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast." 

I've taken it upon myself to truly get rid of all the shite that has been cluttering up life for years now. I spent some time this morning getting rid of all but two things that would remind me of one of the most painful years of my life, and amidst several shudders, shivers and reminders that it's long gone, I put it all in the trash. Gone. It can't hurt me anymore, the reality or the paper proof of all the bullshit that happened. And with the passing of people who actually DID do something with their lives, I am reminded that the time is now for me to let go of the past and get a jump on living what life there is left for me to the best of my own ability. 

Quite the Wake Up Call, I think.   


02 January 2016

100 Times Up

The first day of the year has come and gone and now we just get on with life as usual, sans all the holiday joy. I finished my one literary Christmas gift yesterday, a brilliantly sad piece of work:


You can only get little tiny and totally irrelevant glimpses of prison and death row from Hollywood, and usually they don't focus too much on what's going on inside a person's brain as they move through such an ordeal. I highly recommend it, even if you know nothing about Damien Echols. Though, if you have any concern for the warped thing we call a "justice" system in this country, you should learn more. 

Towards the end of the tome, one thing really stood out, and I'm sure I'm paraphrasing: 

"You can knock me down 99 times, and I'll get back up 100." 

Or something like that. I'll be damned if I can find it again without re-reading the entire book. I need to get some of those tabbie things to stick on pages when I find something worth remembering since I despise marking up books with pens or highlighters or folding the page corners down.  

While I am fortunate to have never experienced even a fraction of what Mr. Echols has gone through, I can totally relate. The same could be said about my penchant for running into brick walls. I'm sure I've repeated the same stupid mistakes in my life well over 99 times, and then I get back up ... Just to make them again.  

I fail to see the error of my methods until after I've already carried out the actions that remind me how futile some things really are. 

Apart from that, this has been stuck in my head for the past few days: 


This is the version I remember from childhood. It's the version looping in my head. As an ignorant, head-in-the-clouds, fool of a child, I didn't pay attention to such technicalities as who was actually performing. I heard Bee Gees somewhere in there and went with that.  

Today I discovered there to be another voice in there, which would explain why I couldn't figure out which Bee Gee was actually singing those verses. I must admit, however, that I care for you far too much to show you what I found. If you want to see it, go here. Just remember, once seen, things cannot be unseen. 

If you recover from that, and you care enough to know, THIS is the original, with only Bee Gees singing ... I think ... 



The lesson gleaned from this discovery is that no matter how much you think you know something, it's not always what you think it is. Hopefully, I learned what I was supposed to learn from this song being firmly lodged in my brain cell for so many days now.   

One thing is for certain, that's some huge hair on Barry.  Reminds me of this:


Which you'll have to go visit because I can't find a suitable clip on YouBoob because I think NBC won't let those things be YouBoobed!  

Carry on then. 

31 December 2015

Stories I'd Rather Believe for 2015


You tell them stories they'd rather believe
Use and confuse them
They're numb and naive

Truth is the truth hurts
Don't you agree?

It's harder to live
With the truth about you
Than to live with
The lies about me

Nobody owes you
Not one goddamn thing
You know where to put your
Just shut up and [write] ....


It has been a long, long, long, long time since I wrote here. Wow.  I guess the wake up calls stopped ringing in my head for a while. So, here we are, about to ring in a new year and it's about time. This past year has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride with more ups and downs and twists and turns than I care to relive. 

Overall, life has been really nothing short of spectacular on some levels, and really just soul-crushing at other times. Yet, the older I get, I seem to process it all on the same emotional level, just letting it all stew on the insides.   There just usually aren't any adequate words for the way I feel about things, and thusly, I just stay quiet. 

Not here to make any resolutions. It occurred to me this morning that making plans to change and improve one's self just because a new year has arrived is about as effective as starting the latest fad diet on a Monday morning. It doesn't matter when or where you start. What matters is that you DO start and DO it all again and again until those improvements and changes are ingrained into your being. 

That, and I got my gym membership back in October, and I actually USE it several times a week, so I'm already miles ahead in the nonsensical resolution race. 

If I've gained nothing else out of 47-plus years of living, there is one bit of knowledge I've gleaned from it all:  The Universe acres not about clock or calendar. No matter how much planning and  organizing we do, money won't grow on trees and the proverbial shit won't hit the proverbial fan until it's good and ready to, and thus far in life, there's a lot more fans flinging poo than trees growing cold, hard cash. 

My point is, don't sit around waiting for the good or the bad, just live. Do everything you can to be the better you that you want to be, keep an open mind, stay flexible, learn to duck when the fan turns on, and by all means, if you ever find a money tree, let me know where it is or at least save me a seed so I can plant one.  

Here's to a much, much better 2016. I hope it brings you all everything you need and want, along with a little bit more peace here and there.